You try to hide yourself.

You try to run, to start again.

You tell yourself lies;

Are you any more sane?

 

It's waiting there.

It always will.

Building strength, but never for you.

Against you; a fight, a battle of will.

 

No matter what you do,

It has patience and time.

Every time it returns, you remember the lie.

 

There's momentary relief in the simplest things;

A distraction, a friend, a love.

But those things can't last because slowly but surely,

It returns without mercy to destroy the glory.

 

That hard work that you did.

The struggle.

The pain.

Was it all that worth it when you knew it'd remain?

 

You knew it was there.

How could you forget?

When it has always defined you despite your best effort.

 

As soon as they see it;

Even a glimpse.

It becomes you.

Controls you.

Engulfs you.

It is you.

 

What can be done?

You can choose to embrace it.

But how on earth can you with how much you hate it.

 

It. You say it as if it will help.

To separate it and you.

But ultimately you know;

 

No matter what you do.

You can't escape yourself.