To the boy

whom I love

more than anything:

 

You are so perfect to me

and for me.

I am completely in love

with the person you are.

I am completely in love

with with they way I catch your blue eyes gazing at me.

with our after-hours jam sessions in your Ford.

with your intelligence and your yearn to build yourself a future.

with your love for and admiration of your parents.

with how you love never abandons me,

and mine will forever linger for you.

 

You say I’m like Alaska

and that I’m a hurricane

while you’re only a drizzle.

And although you know me better than anyone,

I promise - you can’t save me.

 

You say I’m a hurricane,

but I hope you reckon that I’m the catastrophic type.

I will dismantle you in the most innocent way.

You are so undeserving of me.

of how much of a mess I am.

of my indecisive tendencies and

of my habit of pushing you away.

of every moment of pain and heartbreak.

Because you are so perfect

but I’m a hurricane - naturally a disaster,

and I refuse to let myself destroy you.

 

So to the boy

whom I love

more than anything - 

 

I pray that you understand

that I wish I could understand more clearly why

I am so in love with you,

yet I cannot love you.

I’m sorry.