Not Much Left to Lose Now

Everyone writes of the anguish of love and the pain it brings

Each of us believing no one will understand that sorrow

Of feather tattoos, secret kisses, and tragically lost rings

At some point that hope I clung to faded into tomorrow

 

To love with all the heart, despite humanity’s flaws

That was my choice to carry on and never say goodbye

The physical pain of a heart shredded by dreaded clause

“Forget about it,” “You two have fun,” and it’s me you vilify

 

I know what I’ve done but I am not much of a knight.

Half dozen times you pushed me away, walked away,

I’m not the soldier but I didn’t give up the fight

What about me must I change to make you stay?

 

Perhaps some battles are too filled with memory

Is it just me now?  Honesty always has a price.

You do what you think is right but ignore my plea

You turn a deaf ear and think your solution will suffice

 

Guilt, that annihilator, destroyer of both of us,

At some point you gave up on the dream we cherished,

I know it’s my fault, I’m the one who is treasonous

I feel unlovable now, that hope of love has perished

 

Because of my past sins, I am forever in debt,

That clean slate will never be mine to own.

Whatever happens, my dear, I hope you don’t forget

That I love you for you and my heart is yours alone.

◄ Simple Cloth (collaboration with The Carbon Quill)

Teethpods ►

Comments

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anamaria

Wed 3rd Apr 2019 23:10

this was the first poem i read on your profile and i connected with it instantly. maybe because i relate, but i couldn't relate if your writing wasn't sincere, so sincere that i can feel the cruelty of the emotions you are feeling.
Whatever happens, my dear, I hope you don’t forget

That I love you for you and my heart is yours alone.
💕

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The Carbon Quill

Mon 25th Mar 2019 03:12

Heart rending and haunting. Thank you for sharing this. I truly hope they read this and reflect. It will be remembered.

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The Carbon Quill

Mon 25th Mar 2019 03:12

Heart rending and haunting. Thank you for sharing this. I truly hope they read this and reflect. It will be remembered.

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Heart of Lead

Fri 22nd Mar 2019 12:03

Thank you, every last one of you for your kind words. Means more than you know to be able to hear that. As life goes, we carry on, but it's good not to be alone. Thank you so much.

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Phil Kay

Fri 22nd Mar 2019 01:44

The heartfelt pain is drawing me to read this over, I feel the cathartic need you have achieved.... I hope.

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Jason Bayliss

Fri 22nd Mar 2019 00:37

Beautifully written my friend, but painful to read. I think we can all resonate with these words at some point in our life. Heart break is the worst of all pains because it's also the saddest.
Ever your friend across the world.

J. x

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Mae Foreman

Thu 21st Mar 2019 21:02

Your strong beautiful poem combined with the impression you've made on me, the way you write, comment and generally come across; combined with your pen name and profile photo and of course this poem with that genuine pain and heartache it exudes as well as the intricate way you wive your love story into a piece of art remind me of Billie Holliday! I'm sorry for your lost love and God knows we all made mistakes and have our hearts ripped off, sometimes by our mere selves... I'm sorry for all that...But!
Heart of Lead, I love your voice!
Thank you 🎈
Mae

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Brian Maryon

Thu 21st Mar 2019 18:30

Good rhyming!

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Heart of Lead

Thu 21st Mar 2019 18:22

Thank you so much Dorothy. Heartbreak is always the most raw story to tell. Maybe that's why we spill our stories here, surrounded by the words of others.

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Dorothy Webb

Thu 21st Mar 2019 18:19

This poem is heart breaking to read, and the last six lines are beyond heart breaking.

Dorothy

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