Silver Shot Pocket Watch

Flicking the chain of a silver shot pocket watch, flicking,

Slicking back hair like you don't really care but still slicking,

The tick and the tick of the clock in your pocket is ticking,

Put on your coat and step out the door, lock clicking.

 

Your feet hit repeat as the steel at your heel is sounding,

On the pavement below and you know it'll stop your heart pounding,

The rhythm of the beat as your feet hit the street's resounding,

You don't look around but stare at the ground 'cos it's grounding.

 

The sound of your shoes helps you push out the doubt and block it,

You have make time so you pull out your watch and clock it,

The look on your face when get to that place says you'll rock it,

The man with the slicked back hair and the watch in his pocket.

 

◄ Distil By Will

Drive ►

Comments

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Jason Bayliss

Wed 6th Feb 2019 17:44

Thanks Jennifer, I think it's the rhythm of it, it was stuck in my mind for ages.😀

jennifer Malden

Wed 6th Feb 2019 17:37

Agree with FMF - clever poem - the image it gives is still sticking in my mind.

Jennifer

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Jason Bayliss

Mon 4th Feb 2019 15:34

Apologies to all, as I mentioned before I'm a bit dyslexic, which means I've had to edit this again because a few words that I thought were there were not (a few "the's and you's). Sorry.
Had to change it because it messes with the rhythm.

J.

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Jason Bayliss

Mon 4th Feb 2019 06:47

Thank you, the rhythm came to me last night, quite late, had to recheck it this morning to make sure I had the scansion right, so to have nice comments from you is great. I think we've all had a time even if just the briefest when we've felt like this.
Although personally, I was more messy hair and wristwatches myself.

Thanks, 😀

J

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Vautaw

Mon 4th Feb 2019 04:21

Full on confidence. Something about slick hair and steel heels will do that. Great visual licks. 💖

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Frances Macaulay Forde

Mon 4th Feb 2019 04:16

Such a cool, casual vibe to this very clever poem... absolutely loved it! 😎

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