Pulsing, Burning, Spitting hate

But my anger will not sate

Grab her, squeeze her, pluck her eyes

But their image never dies.

One small picture of him with her

And all gets lost in a watery bluer

Her eyes.

Her eyes!

Her Fucking Eyes!!

Her eyes that stare and pine,

Loving so dearly that which is mine!

The look shoots daggers straight to my gut. 

How dare she touch him! That unworthy slut!

I hate her!

I hate her!!!

Yet nothing else changed.

My heart lays in pieces broken and maimed. 

But can it be fixed?

Stiched, mended and loved?

Or am I just mangled, a grotesque little dove.

Like drops of blood on a rose's white petals

Drip drip drop

Here comes the devil .

Ill watch as the world crumbles down into ash.

All that I love tumbling in a crash 

How did I get here?

What role did I play?

If the hands of time were forced to bend,

If the sun tucked itself in the east for the night,

Id take it all back and do everything right.

I wouldn't care of you stayed out and drank with your friends.

I would have spent more time trying to make amends.

I wouldn't be selfish or so focused on work.

I would listen to you, not roll my eyes and smirk.

I'd be a better wife .

We'd have a better life.

But here I find myself,

Burried in ashes.

Trying to find the strength

To Rise.