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swan's down

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My wings beat

they almost creak

but I don’t feel the weight of them.

After hundreds of miles

it’s all the same to me

it’s all the same.

 

I don’t know why I’ve come back again,

the old familiar track across the sky

it brought me.

My head turns as I look

from left to right

to see my comrades.

But one familiar face is missing.

She is missing.

 

We mate for life, you see.

Now I’m a spare part swan

in the swannery.

 

A moment of clumsiness

as I arrange myself upon the water.

A boredom settles over me like snow.

The other swans re-connect

their pairings -

all is excitement and chatter!

 

Twisting my neck

I slip my head beneath a tired wing to sleep.

I hide my head and sleep.

And dream of all the fluffy cygnets

that we had.

 

It’s over now.

You’ll find me in the morning.

Sodden, drifting on the lake.

Because this swan is so very down.

 

◄ fable

marriage tense ►

Comments

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Ann Foxglove

Sat 23rd Jan 2010 13:29

Hi Stef - really impressed that you read my poem so thoughtfully! I guess "brethren" sounds religious to me, like monks etc, and I felt that the swans would be like comrades battling against the elements as they flew all those miles. Also, re the ending of the poem, I wanted to have the play on words as in "swan's down" and "swans down", the first being short for "swan is down" and "swans down" being their soft featherinesses. And I quite like the way it lightens the mood - I think the poor old swan is taking himself a bit too seriously! Maybe he is a drama-queen swan! Don't know really! ;-)

<Deleted User> (6895)

Sat 23rd Jan 2010 12:59

Hi again Ann-I wiil no doubt be anticipating a green wellied kick up the !.Due to the fact I need to ask you would'bretheren' be a better word in place of 'comrades'-that word seems a little war-like in what essentially is a(forgive the pun)featherlight poem.Also the last word seems too jokey in a moment of soft sadness.Are you putting the welly on?lol! 99*9%beautifully composed.-Stefan

<Deleted User> (7073)

Fri 22nd Jan 2010 19:57

Aww.. that is really sad... I love Swans.... lovely poem too Annipoo
TC XX

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