There are so many things I wish to say to you

But speaking out loud my words do not  hold much use

Where to begin I do not know

So much has happened it’s hard to let go

I cannot start at the beginning

Somehow the memories have faded,

Somewhere in the middle our love became jaded!

But sitting here alone trying to remember the past

How it all had ended,

I swear a spell upon us was cast

In the beginning our love was pure and true

I hoped that you loved me as much I loved you!

It hurt me to watch you just leave

Felt like something was missing, just been stolen from me!

I know you just human and i should let go

But damn chick how I loved you so!

Anyways, let’s get back to the beginning

Let me tell you how I have been feeling!!

I have this numbing headache that slices through my brain

The pain can get so bad that it drives me insane

I’m walked around pissed off and constantly confused

Always second guessing

Never knowing what to do!!

Violet’s the blade

And Raven’s the red

You sliced up my soul

Bringing my soul close to death!!!

But life isn’t so bad

It’s still sometimes a little hard

Actually rather often, leaving its imprinted mark

With the lines of one or two more scars

Then I start remembering about a time that was just me and you

I so easily become so angry

What the fuck did we do?

We made a vow that we would never leave each other’s side

Then somehow we both just said goodbye!!!

But from the day you walked out my life,

From that moment my love for you began to die

I couldn’t stand the sight of you,

Kissing and holding some other guy

You said you loved me

Oh yes you did

You said nothing would pull us a part

That we would always be more than just friends!

However deception with so many lies,

Driving unfathomable pain

Like a blunt blade from a kitchen knife

Somehow along our path, something had gotten in the way

I then lost my best friend thirteen months to the day!

Hell I never even got to see you walk down the isle  

Dressed all in white which was hardly ever your style

Nevertheless I discovered something painful and true

I saw into your heart

But yet to late, I saw the real you

As much as I hated what I saw inside

Those beautiful eyes

I watched them die

And as much as you turned into someone I just didn’t like

You were still the only girl I wanted as my wife

But I know now you never felt the same way

You just left me alone to face another day

Although I must admit

I never cried many tears

I turned my back on you too

I got up and faced all my fears

And all the while I stayed honest and true to myself

I never even wrote you one teeny tiny spell

But trust me

Your blade I did feel

Cutting red and white lines

In a Magickal field

Though I never flinched

I never faulted

I always pulled through!

Next thing I knew,

The days grew less and less where I would find myself thinking of you!!!

But then one day,

Very un-expectantly you wrote me a little note

Something about living in the moment

About forgiveness you wrote

I decided to meet with you

Maybe go for a drink or two

I will admit, I was curious to see you too

So we decided to meet on the shores of a familiar beach

I think you were hoping I wasn’t to far out of reach

Next thing I saw was a whole other you

I couldn’t believe my  eyes

This girl, she wasn’t the girl I knew

You changed

To me, you became a lie

I stood there and watched you

I saw you in this whole other life

Although the saddest thing about this all

We just stood there and watched each other fall

All of our memories were driven out the door

So much blood has spilt

Leaving stains on the floor!

Now a few years have passed us by

Yet all of our memories still feel like a lie

But here I sit

Finding myself thinking of you

Wondering about all the things we did

Wishing it could have been different!

How all I wanted was more than just a friend

I would have stood by you and gone with you till the very end

But I know now that it can never again be just us two

We both found a different path

We will never again have a love that was so pure or true

But I do wish you well on your journey through life

May you be happy being someone else’s wife!

May the sun always shine on your face!

May all your pain with love be replaced,

And think of me every now and again

Remember me as being more than just your friend

And don’t forget the things I said to you

Hold them close

Cause for me, they were all true.

So mote it be!!!!!

RaVeN Mathews

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