I had a belief in myself,
I thought I knew where I stood
But spend enough time talking to one who believes otherwise…
The words twist and drive into my heart until doubt creeps,
And the snakes who slept awaken and open lidless eyes
“Who am I?” I must scream into the darkness
The silence answers back with a laugh.
“You are the sum of your failures, dear child. Own up to it.”
But that is not me, I shout into the light.
The day replies, “But what about your actions?”
I cling to the image I have created of the person I want to be
She stands, unmoved in armor and an assured smile
But words are rusting the metal, and your belief corrodes the image
Silver film and silver mirrors and both betray
“I know what you want” you say “I know who you are”
I start to cave and believe you know me best
Is my heart so confused that it lies to my mind?
We do our values, this I know, so maybe the lies are truth
It was not so very long ago I could look in the mirror with pride
I was a good person with flaws. But now I’m a hellish form.
A demon in melted armor
Give me a reason to hope again and prove my worth
For I can no longer look myself in the eye for there is no recognition.
But I cannot put blame on you if this indeed is simply making me see…
What is really there….