Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

NONDESCRIPT

"How're ye doin' honey?

I got here as soon as I could."

    He's all strapped up,

    tubes like spaghetti,

    leg in a splint. 

 

"I'm doin' jus' fine, i'm OK you know. "

    Multiple fractures,

    bed curtains fastracking, 

    stethoscopes wagging,

    emergency vehicles

    not long from the scene. 

 

"How'd it happen, what's the news?"

 

"Well, he came outta nowhere,

I never saw nuttin',

but things are OK,

don't fret honey, 

i'll be out in a day."

 

"I don't think I can tell junior yet awhile,

i'll tell him you've stayed over at the office,

you know how he plays up, gets upset....."

 

    Music fades in - camera pans out,

    the credits roll up.

    It's one of those endings;

    no surprises, he died at the start.

    Sorta weepy,

    but back then in the fifties that was cinema art. 

◄ THE DISAPPEARED

VANISHING POINT ►

Comments

Profile image

raypool

Sun 23rd Sep 2018 22:39

Nice of you to say so, Martin. I know we both enjoy that delving back, and I do enjoy some aspects of the past. I try not to wear rose tined specs all the time though!

All the best Ray

Profile image

Martin Elder

Sun 23rd Sep 2018 20:02

You always evoke sweet memories with your work. One of my favourites was the lavender hill mob.
Nice one Ray

Profile image

raypool

Sun 23rd Sep 2018 16:01

Thanks Hannah. I do enjoy these opportunities to try conversational type stuff. Not traditional poetry, but as I said before try anything. Glad you like it! The positivity was a reflection on the ludicrous optimism of some of those early films.

Hi Taylor, lovely to have you reading - i'm glad you found it authentic. I love them too, especially the film noir variety.

Thanks Col. Too kind mate. Always good to see the Ealings, I watched Genevieve recently - not sure if that one was though. One of my faves is The Titfield Thunderbolt - I think that one is. Although my poem was obviously from across the pond.

Becky, thanks for looking in!

Ray

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sun 23rd Sep 2018 09:26

you do these little cinematic vignettes so well Ray - a touch of the Ealings perhaps?

Profile image

Taylor Crowshaw

Sat 22nd Sep 2018 16:06

Very good Ray as a fan of old black and white movies it struck exactly the right cord..thank you ?

<Deleted User> (18118)

Sat 22nd Sep 2018 14:01

Read it twice, then saw it in sort of black and white, a real scene.
Real positivity 'I'll be out in a day'.
Original work that I really enjoyed.

Hannah

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message