I am the orphaned girl-child
hiding inside the stone-scarred earth
that trembles like disaster
at my mother's howling
because peace in my father's house
has been traded for Jesus and
a people who kill for greed and pleasure...
I am the Sword of Damocles--
yes, now, I am the rite
and the passage from night to dawn.
elPintor
Sat 11th Aug 2018 03:55
So moving to me--
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Scus9teTdjo
not that it matters but, more of a response to come...
love it mate! im a sucker for the old religious imagery as you know and i was moved by this.
A nice study of innocence combined with power, a sort of sacrifice. The use of Jesus feels like a trump card in the story. Always thought provoking Rachel !
Ray
A small poem which packs a huge punch. ?
A small poem which packs a huge punch. ?
Big Sal
Wed 8th Aug 2018 02:19
This read like a prophecy out of Greek legends or Roman myth. What a way with words. Your lines from 'I am the Sword of Damocles' all the way to the end resonated with such supreme craftmanship that I have to say I'm a little jealous.?
No but really, very well done on this whole piece. Definitely one of my favorite poems. And thanks for the comments.
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elPintor
Sun 12th Aug 2018 19:44
Thanks for all of your comments...
I started writing this with orphans of war and other campaigns of cultural destruction in mind and wanted to convey the philosophy that the cost of such loss may be incalculable and far-reaching. The phrase, "the Sword of Damocles" just popped up, like out of nowhere, so truly I feel like I caught a break--it doesn't always happen like that.
To answer your question, David: I'm not trying to be cute, but I wouldn't say so. Though, if you see some connection, I can't say that it doesn't exist--I mean, it's all in the eye of the beholder.
Phosphorus is quite a chemical. I had just a little experience with it in a college chemistry course and just a little more in the field with mortars (I hope I remember correctly, but I believe that's what was used for illuminating fire). I realize that's not the limit of its capabilities--morning star, indeed...
Enjoy what's left of the weekend, to all of you,
Rachel