Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

CLOSING THE GAP OF YEARS

"I love you," I said

closing the gap of years -

"I love you too," she said.

We walked holding hands

celebrating her two replacement hips.

 

Hospitals split you up,

cleave you with fears;

such a routine part of life - and yet,

you think of the anaesthetic and the knife. 

 

Today it all works out,

I squeeze her hand. 

She talks of moisturizers,

I the airbrushing of older celebrities. 

 

"I love you," I had said

closing the gap of fear

that plays in the cracks of a smile,

soon we had covered half a mile. 

"I love you too," she had said. 

◄ RECONCILIATION

MANDY O MANDY ►

Comments

Profile image

raypool

Fri 3rd Aug 2018 20:21

Many thanks Jane, and Avishek for the compliment.

Cheers Keith for the like.


Ray

Profile image

AVISHEK GHOSH

Thu 2nd Aug 2018 14:21

Very much impressed.Beautifully crafted.

<Deleted User> (19836)

Thu 2nd Aug 2018 08:01

A tender and heartwarming piece. Excellent!

Profile image

raypool

Tue 31st Jul 2018 19:33

Glad you like this Big Sal, welcome aboard !

Thank you Anya my pleasure.

Thanks Graham : I think you have to re-establish closeness from time to time - we try lend freshness, not always easy of course. As we get older, we can see the dissolution of the ones who do "go over." What more can we do? I felt the last line was a sort of closure, thanks.


Well that's nice Darren - really makes a nice footnote to a poem!


Gotcha Col. Appreciated.

Bring it on Martin - we mustn't be self conscious - the world needs love!


Thanks folks ..

Ray


Profile image

Martin Elder

Tue 31st Jul 2018 09:15

Love it Ray . I am glad I am not the only one to still hold my wife's hand when walking along the street.
Nice one

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 31st Jul 2018 09:03

excellent Ray - very moving as Anya said.

<Deleted User> (19421)

Mon 30th Jul 2018 22:12

Fantastic Ray. I love this and once again listening to you read it works wonders!

I paused after the title and the first line and thought about the gap of years in my own relationship, then read on, got a glow inside now.

Thanks

DJB

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Mon 30th Jul 2018 09:45

The potential fragility of long term relationships/marriages and the age old conundrum, is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

You bring it into very fine focus with this Ray. many of us are shambling closer to the abyss but daren't look over.

I think the delayed response from "her" in the last line is a masterpiece.

Big Sal

Mon 30th Jul 2018 02:36

Excellent piece!?

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message