Don and Brian's Car Problem

 

Our Brian had a problem

About a poor white car

Which parked in front of his house

His view out of did mar

 

Instead of getting agitate

And getting in a twist

He could have gone and asked

What's up ? I'm getting pissed

 

But no, our Brian he stayed in

And pondered this and that

From his windowed bedside

While on and off he sat

 

Many did suggest, Brian

A reason for it's purpose

What next will you tear hair out 'bout ?

Clouds drifting by ? Heaven help us

 

But Brian you had no problem

Your car did disappear

But my red bloody racer

Put my blood in top gear

 

Now as I've said my problem's

Not white but racing red

The bugga goes and parks it

In view, right by my bed

 

Not content to once it

He comes back on repeat

To park his bloody car

And put me well in heat

 

Now I'm not usually heatable

In fact I'm rather calmy

But bastard-red was driving me

No, not to drink, but balmy

 

You won't believe his bloody nerve

Repeat, race out, rage-red

Forgot to put me pants on

He'd disappeared, 'nuf said

 

Now Brian, not much does piss me

(Unpissable I guess)

But like your bloody white car

How dare our heads they mess !

 

I hope my saga's interesting

It doesn't stop verse here

You guessed it, bloody racing-red

It did, yes, persevere

 

Politely, I did leave a note

'Do not park here. I bite'

This I thought would do it

Fill him up with fright

 

Brian, you won't believe me

His car's back shiny, buffed

Hello ? What's that, a note ?

It just said 'Go get stuffed'

 

I got a pack of nails

Tyre-under I spread half

And when red-racer raced off

I swear I heard him laugh

 

In sheer determination

Determination fire

I got some six inch nails

And propped them 'gainst the tyre

 

I went to view the aftermath

The nails all bent and knotted

Hello ? A note ? It just said

'Get lost, go get knotted'

 

Don Matthews June 2018

 

PostScript

Like Brian's car, mine has also disappeared and not come back.