'Donald'

entry picture

Our first meeting, you talked shillings, I spoke pounds.

Saddened by what had happened to you, your life

now full of strife, at the thought of being found, and

bound by the contract.

 

Bereft of your home and possessions

Have we not learnt our lessons?

 

Troubled by the tide of information

lack of explanation, of who, what, where, and when?

 

No one to spare a minute: Limited to breakfast, lunch and toilet charts.

Someone please have a heart and tell me why?

 

I will try to keep to your schedule

If I cause too much trouble: Will you send me back?

 

Back to my worn out shell; a place that you thought was hell.

 

But where I knew my shillings

And never spoke of pounds.

All poems are copyright of the originating author. 

Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

'Because we are human' ►

Comments

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Belinda Johnston

Sat 19th Jan 2008 16:45

Thank you Paul and Clariisa for your feedback and taking the time to read my poem.

Much appreciated

Belinda

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Belinda Johnston

Sat 19th Jan 2008 16:41

Thank you Mel, I wanted the poem to trigger some thoughts but at the same time for the reader to be taken on a journey, and it sounds like I've managed to achieve that.

Belinda x

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Belinda Johnston

Sat 19th Jan 2008 16:40

Thank you steve for your comments about my poem. The rhyme in the poem wasn't deliberate, it's just the way it came out, and I agree that it read like a short story that flows.

Many thanks again

Belinda

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Melanie Rees

Thu 17th Jan 2008 18:05

A beautiful poem Belinda. I love the contrast between the poem's soft rhyme and rhythm and the clinical questions. It asks you strong questions, but strokes your hand at the same time. lovely, lovely.

Mel
xx

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Steve OConnor

Thu 17th Jan 2008 10:17

Hello Belinda

I really like how 'Donald' flows. (That sounds weird, doesn't it? A flowing Donald.)

I like what you've done with the rhyme in this poem. It challenges preconceived ideas about rhyming poetry, and that's a good thing - far too many poetry snobs in the world.

Paul's right. It is an oddly moving poem. There's a sadness to it - but it's a sadness that observes rather than seeking to engage the reader's sympathy/pity.

Great opening line too.

Good 'un.

Steve

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clarissa mckone

Thu 17th Jan 2008 01:43

Very nice poem!

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Paul F Blackburn

Thu 17th Jan 2008 00:47

An oddly moving poem.

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