1. Billy the Grey

Now hear me tell

Of Billy the Grey

Who’d fill you in about

 judgement day.

He’d stand in the pulpit

Persian fur flying

With tales of hell fires

That had small kittens crying.

He’d tell the miracle

of feeding 5000 cats

With one tin of Whiska’s

And 2 skinny rats.

He travelled the world

 Furry souls to save

Seeking repentment

Till he went to his grave.

So powerful his words of faith

So quotable

And bankable

Was this feline wraith

An industry grew up round him

Convincing cats

That they could win

A place in heaven

By coughing up

Not furballs

But cash

Into Billy G’s cup!

A hundred quid

 And he’d pray for you

A thousand quid

 Included family and pets too!

As moggies queued

To touch his blessed paw

The tax men were coining in

More and more.

And that’s where this furry tale ends

Billy the Grey and his worshipful friends

Who advocated lighting candles

bells and smells and rosary dangles

Were trapped by an inland revenue joke

And watched a fortune go up in smoke!