I love them in the summertime
and in the winter too,
I love them in the evening time
and in the morning dew.
To these I give my gratitude
as gifts from God on high,
more welcoming I often say
than a comely maiden's thigh.
When thoughts of darkness threaten me
I simply close my eyes,
and there before me standing proud
I see the lows and highs.
Hi Ray,
Yin and Yang, a game of two halves, and all that. I suppose we should try to take a slightly detached view especially when we feel we are thrown from pillar to post; the ups and downs.
I like the humour too:
the comely maiden's thigh
Nice one!
Suki
<Deleted User> (18118)
Mon 30th Apr 2018 20:15
Great stuff.
Hannah
Laura, thank you - I totally agree dropping the last verse gives the more satisfying result. Will do that. I have found that often switching lines can do the same thing, giving more fluidity and reason to a poem than necessarily trusting to the order of the ideas as they come! Again, your point about contrasts makes total sense. I'm grateful for your fine eye.
Cheers Douglas, that came about with the desire to rhyme, but it does seem rather novel !
Thank you Anya for liking the poem.
Ray
I like how you lead us on to think one thing, and then it's another.
I actually think you could lose that last verse altogether, and keep the notion of the twin peaks as those highs and lows. The big thing that I hold onto through lows of my own is that I know from experience they will pass. And that they have to exist together, otherwise how would we be able to define one or the other, without its opposite for contrast?
Simple but punchy. Great poem Ray.
I like the switch of the much more common “highs and lows”. Gives that line a pause and a beat.
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raypool
Wed 2nd May 2018 22:09
Thanks Hannah; glad you like it!
Suki, you're right, for a happy life we should try for balance of opposites. It's hard to reconcile our moods on occasion.
Thanks for the like Rich.
Ray