Not Doris Day's Armpits

(to the tune of Que sera sera)

When I was  only 12 years old,
I shaved my armpits
bare as can be.
Will I be sexy?
Will I be fit?

Here's what they said to me:

'Oh the itch the itch!

Whatever possessed you, bitch,

to bulk-buy a load of Bics.

Oh the itch the itch'

 

When I grew up I carried on
hacking my arm pits
week after week.
Did it get better?
Did it hurt less?
Here's what they said to me:

'Oh pit hair pit hair,

we wish you were thick as fur.

We wish you had curly hair.

Oh pit hair pit hair'

 

Now I am grown and blades have gone,

so has my pit rash

and that mad itch.

Now I am furry.

Now I am sleek.

Here's how it makes me feel:

 

Oh pit hair pit hair,

you make people stop and stare,

you're sexy cos you don't care.

Oh pit hair pit hair.

 

 

 

 

NaPoWriMo2018

◄ Hotdesk Almanac

Kontemplations ►

Comments

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Laura Taylor

Mon 9th Apr 2018 10:20

Or relate to a girl. Either way Hannah, yes, it's a very difficult time. We succumb really early to the social pressure, and it took me years to break free. So glad you enjoyed it 😃

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Hannah Collins

Sun 8th Apr 2018 17:36

Oh being twelve years old is horrible for a girl.
You're still a child but you're not,
Hair starts to sprout, you feel a stranger to yourself,
Then it's time to 'relate' to a boy.
Love this one Laura.

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Laura Taylor

Sun 8th Apr 2018 13:15

Thanks Hugh, glad you enjoyed it! It's greatly amused many people on my FB page, and sparked off several conversations about physical censorship and social oppression. Fab response for a funny throwaway piece 😃

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Hugh

Sat 7th Apr 2018 22:09

An enjoyable hair raising read,well done.

Graham Sherwood

Sat 7th Apr 2018 20:39

I think what Brian is trying to say is that it’s more of an album track than a hit single. Napowrimo is at best for me an exercise in productivity. A better idea would be to write a piece and look at it for 30 day’s, editing if desired and hope to get a near perfect poem (if that exists) by the end of it.

Anya

Sat 7th Apr 2018 18:20

Totally agree Laura! And don’t you think Brian is like Simon Cowell of WOL, maybe it’s good! X

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Laura Taylor

Sat 7th Apr 2018 17:55

Cheers Trev and Anya 😀 A bit of frivolity now and then makes a nice change 😉

And another negative comment from Brian - how predictable.

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Brian Maryon

Sat 7th Apr 2018 17:45

Laura...sorry but you're better than this.

Anya

Sat 7th Apr 2018 13:05

Love it! Thank you! Anya x

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Trevor Alexander

Sat 7th Apr 2018 12:42

aha - fun piece. 😃

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Laura Taylor

Sat 7th Apr 2018 12:38

4th poem for Napowrimo 2018. A deeply thoughtful and considered piece, inspired by Doris Day's armpits.

I have no idea why the line spacing is buggered up and unfixable. Me and my armpits are not happy.

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