Not Doris Day's Armpits

(to the tune of Que sera sera)

When I was  only 12 years old,
I shaved my armpits
bare as can be.
Will I be sexy?
Will I be fit?

Here's what they said to me:

'Oh the itch the itch!

Whatever possessed you, bitch,

to bulk-buy a load of Bics.

Oh the itch the itch'


When I grew up I carried on
hacking my arm pits
week after week.
Did it get better?
Did it hurt less?
Here's what they said to me:

'Oh pit hair pit hair,

we wish you were thick as fur.

We wish you had curly hair.

Oh pit hair pit hair'


Now I am grown and blades have gone,

so has my pit rash

and that mad itch.

Now I am furry.

Now I am sleek.

Here's how it makes me feel:


Oh pit hair pit hair,

you make people stop and stare,

you're sexy cos you don't care.

Oh pit hair pit hair.






◄ Hotdesk Almanac

Subjects of Denial ►


Profile image

Laura Taylor

Mon 9th Apr 2018 10:20

Or relate to a girl. Either way Hannah, yes, it's a very difficult time. We succumb really early to the social pressure, and it took me years to break free. So glad you enjoyed it ?

Profile image

Hannah Collins

Sun 8th Apr 2018 17:36

Oh being twelve years old is horrible for a girl.
You're still a child but you're not,
Hair starts to sprout, you feel a stranger to yourself,
Then it's time to 'relate' to a boy.
Love this one Laura.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Sun 8th Apr 2018 13:15

Thanks Hugh, glad you enjoyed it! It's greatly amused many people on my FB page, and sparked off several conversations about physical censorship and social oppression. Fab response for a funny throwaway piece ?

Profile image


Sat 7th Apr 2018 22:09

An enjoyable hair raising read,well done.

Profile image

Graham Sherwood

Sat 7th Apr 2018 20:39

I think what Brian is trying to say is that it’s more of an album track than a hit single. Napowrimo is at best for me an exercise in productivity. A better idea would be to write a piece and look at it for 30 day’s, editing if desired and hope to get a near perfect poem (if that exists) by the end of it.

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Sat 7th Apr 2018 17:55

Cheers Trev and Anya ? A bit of frivolity now and then makes a nice change ?

And another negative comment from Brian - how predictable.

Profile image

Brian Maryon

Sat 7th Apr 2018 17:45

Laura...sorry but you're better than this.

Profile image

Trevor Alexander

Sat 7th Apr 2018 12:42

aha - fun piece. ?

Profile image

Laura Taylor

Sat 7th Apr 2018 12:38

4th poem for Napowrimo 2018. A deeply thoughtful and considered piece, inspired by Doris Day's armpits.

I have no idea why the line spacing is buggered up and unfixable. Me and my armpits are not happy.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message