The old man from his cottage
sold apples
sold apples
red as the juice of roses
red as the juice of roses
and as fast as he could sell them
he grew them
he grew them.
Some fell and lay like refugees
like refugees crowding the borders
while wasps and maggots
made their claims.
As brown as old sponge
they lay exhausted by time
exhausted by time.
The one he would give me
he burnished like gold
with his hard caring hands
red fit to burst
the one I would hold.
Hi Ray!
Loved the apple man. Would have liked the repetition in the other verses too, just to be interfering! Takes one back to a happy childhood in the country!
Jennifer
Thanks Martin and Kevin, I got the idea to repeat the lines as a sort of incantation, to be as simple as possible , so a song could come out of it , absolutely; though I don't try songwriting. I don't know why I put refugees in there, but it seemed appropriate somehow. I agree Kevin as a song it would need some extending.
David, that could work in essence, a devious conclusion. The apples could easily be metaphors for labouring itself. There is certainly a twist in your interpretation - I plead not guilty, as I based it on a particular old fella my mum used to buy apples from. But time passes, and the world grows more involved I guess!
Thanks Col. Scrumping was a joy, and we had a tiny orchard near me as a kid - UNATTENDED!
Hannah, it is good that we bring unique views to poems, and build ideas and dreams upon them; very flattering thank you.
Cheers Suki. I think i've covered your points above; it is tempting to reconsider it now as a song. I'll come back to it and maybe put piano accompaniment to it.
Stu, again the idea of a song speaks, but with Sandy Denny onboard; wow that is a compliment. The best for sure. Thanks so much.
Many thanks for your likes Ruby and Pat.
as i read this i am listening to sandy denny and its hard to drag her voice away from this ray which is a compliment i can assure you
Hi Ray,
Did you conceive this piece as a lyric? This would work lovely with the right musical accompaniment.
I would love to hear your inspiration for this too. It is compelling, leaving room for the reader to interpret in their own way.
Cheers,
Suki
<Deleted User> (18118)
Mon 5th Mar 2018 19:22
I felt a message in this.
The cycle of life. Intriguing and caring.
Hannah
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 5th Mar 2018 09:11
you have us intrigued and wanting more of your tempting apples Raymondo. I agree with Kevin and Martin about the folk song feel. Have a scrumping good week sir. Col.
I agree with Martin it did read like a song. For me It was over too soon, I'd have liked it to have been longer. Possibly with the first verse repeated at the end. (just an idea, I don't want to get cheeky)
Cheers Kevin
This definitely has the feel of a song about , particularly with the repeated lines. dare I say a folk song with its content.
But I also like the message regarding refugees and what is going on with them. Wonderfully put A beautiful poem Ray
Love it
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raypool
Sun 18th Mar 2018 18:00
Thanks Jennifer, it was lovely to get your comment. I totally agree if the verse had been put to music the extra repetition would have been effective. It will just have to mature at it is into a sort of cider with rosie!
Ray