If I die tomorrow

If I die tomorrow 
I want you all to know
That I always meant well
My life has been swell

And that's thanks to you all
To my mum most of all
We've argued and fought 
But not for a second thought
That the love was lost
Because thats a high cost
To my life especially.

That's why I have hidden 
So many awful things 
Which by you were forbidden
But life always brings
These trials to our door
Ones that are unwanted 
But make us want more
Of those seeds planted 

So to you dear mother 
I say thank you and forgive me
You are like no other 
Your love is what made me

Yet life came and broke me
And here I am now 
Unable to face thee
With what's under my brow 

To my father I say
You did what you could
And never a day 
Went by when I should
Have told you I love you
And appreciate your effort
For your patience was true 
As a father and friend 
Right to the end

I always knew when it counted 
That you'd support my decision 
To whatever end it amounted 
Whether sloppy or full of precision 

You trusted my gut 
As I did yours 
And never was shut 
Your wide open doors. 

To my brothers I say 
You are strong and smart
Each in your own way
So never grow apart 
For truly life is short
Too short to argue and fued
Over anything at all
Forgiveness is the truth 
Behind all relationships
Especially on our old ship 
It's easy to argue 
Harder to hold back 
But please always view 
You have each others back. 

To my sister I say,
No doubt you are young 
I will always pray 
That you remain strong 
In your deen and your heart
As it is still pure 
And so smart 
For true intelligence lies
In knowing what's right 
For this life and the next 
Are combined so tight.  

Just don't forget your patience
And to sweeten your tongue
And learn your own confidence
Even though you're still young 

People will love you 
Just as I always do 
If only they knew 
What I knew. 

To my aunties and uncles 
I bid you good day
You were pillars in my life 
From the very first day
I watched and I learnt 
All that I could 
I know that I should
Have been better equipped 
To handle society 
But I was so whipped
By my own insecurity 

So to my cousins I say
Be yourself always
For inside you there's good
To which you should
Always be true.

To my friends, good luck
You're amazing people
The best confidantes 
And so very deserving 
Of all of the good 
That life will be serving. 

There is one that remains
Not the young or the new
But one who's ingrained 
In my heart, who knew? 
To him I say
Find a way
To be happy someday. 
For truly you are 
The best I have met 
You've come so far 
Despite all the debt 

But life is not about money
Or struggles. 
When you stop chasing honey 
Life buckles.
It stops beating you up 
Knowing you give up 
It will stop all its punches 
And reveal all your hunches 
Were right and correct 
Life is just a test. 

I hope that I make it
To the Place so coveted 
I'm not going to fake it
I was never perfect 
Or even close to 
So I can expect
The other place too.

Just pray that I get there 
Despite not having the fare
For life is a journey 
To our eternity 

◄ Endless optimism

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