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The room at the back of my brain

The room at the back of my brain is where I run to 
The room at the back of my brain is where I barricade myself

I found it as a child
I found it as they kissed my face and handled my body
I found it as I lay there still, waiting for it to end

I began to decorate it when I understood shame
I hung up lyrics on the walls, the first time I was left out 
I moved a sofa in when they returned with their cocks and hands

I know the corridors and staircase up to the room so well 
I could get there with my eyes closed 
I now flee there often

I close myself off, so that your tone can't touch me
I hide myself away, so that I don't feel you scratching your words and opinions into my back 
I don't come out for days, for fear you are waiting for me with your flames and pitchforks
Waiting to run me out of here for good

I don't know if the room at the back of my head helps
I don't know if I run there too quickly, too certain past pains are on their way
Too sure that history will repeat itself 

I am scared to leave this room
I am scared to leave this room and walk back down the stairs and the corridor
I am scared to enter the front of mind and re-join the world
I am in pain here, surely I will be in more pain there?

◄ Nothing

To My friend ►

Comments

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J R Harris

Sat 3rd Feb 2018 17:24

I know that room intimately...
Your words skillfully paint a a very familiar picture

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