This is some poetry I have written on some of the darker and more obsessional aspects of having Asperger's Syndrome. It is no secret that many of us on the syndrome, despite liking human contact, find it easier to form obsessions as opposed to relationships. I am not a stalker, in the sense that I purposely hurt or harass individuals. But I am obsessional, as we all are I suppose, and the only thing I can do is be honest about this through my poetry and hope it connects with others...

Depression is a Most Unwelcome Guest

I will confess I often get obsessed
With little things that taunt and bully me
Depression is a most unwelcome guest

It crawled in, bedded down and made a nest
That's built on guilt and self-disgust in me
I will confess I often get obsessed

With being weak and stupid, second-best
To all the world I see surrounding me
Depression is a most unwelcome guest

That lives inside my head and likes to jest
With words that sting, humiliating me
I will confess I often get obsessed

By angel's voices leaving me possessed
By echoing delusions, saddening me
Depression is a most unwelcome guest

That beats me down and gives my nerves unrest
And with this broken man I see reflecting me
I will confess I often get obsessed.
Depression is a most unwelcome guest.

I am a Sex and Love Addict

I am a sex and love addict
I live in a world of my own
I scour the internet for pretty prey
For burlesque dancers, chorus girls,
The ghosts of old loves past,
I yearn so desperately to love yet I get high
On sexual, romantic fantasy that is not real
I'm feeling really burdened by terrible affliction
Will somebody please save me
From my sex and love addiction?

I've got Snakes Inside My Ears and Bursting Blisters on My Brain

Man, I've got snakes inside my ears and bursting blisters on my brain
I'm zoning in and zoning out, my thoughts all spinning everywhere
Through a glass wall I try to hear you but it's hard to understand
The people speaking to me, talking to me, total overload

I'm zoning in and zoning out, my thoughts all spinning everywhere
All conversation is frustration and I'm struggling to connect
With people speaking to me, talking to me, total overload
With random thoughts, creative impulses exploding in my skull

All conversation is frustration and I'm struggling to connect
The people play a social game in which it's tricky to keep up
With random thoughts, creative impulses exploding in my skull
And hissing snakes with angry bites injecting venom in my ears

The people play a social game in which it's tricky to keep up
I can't repress these inner demons 'cos I hear them all the time
And hissing snakes with angry bites injecting venom in my ears
Eroding all my confidence, distracting me with rage and doubt

I can't repress these inner demons 'cos I hear them all the time
The stinging lectures of my aunt that reeked of words that stank of truth
Eroding all my confidence, distracting me with rage and doubt
The taunting bullies in the playground, shouty teachers in the class

The stinging lectures of my aunt that reeked of words that stank of truth
The scattered fragments of the past that are embedded in my mind
The taunting bullies in the playground, shouty teachers in the class
The friends I've hurt, the loves I've spurned all pull me deep inside myself

The scattered fragments of the past that are embedded in my mind
These vivid images so sharp, they prick my conscience, stir my thoughts
The friends I've hurt, the loves I've spurned all pull me deep inside myself
I can't contain them, stretching, screaming as they struggle to escape

These vivid images so sharp they prick my conscience, stir my thoughts
The superheroes, evil villains, pretty damsels, wise old men
I can't contain them stretching, screaming as they struggle to escape
Rampaging armies, squabbling politicians, suffering innocents

The superheroes, evil villains, pretty damsels, wise old men
I make up stories through my dreams, my fantasies are brought to life
Ramapaging armies, squabbling politicians suffering innocents
Burst out of me, and take the shape and form of words and with these words

I make up stories through my dreams, my fantasies are brought to life
In plays and poetry; pantoums, haikus, sestinas, sonnets, songs
Burst out of me, and take the shape and form of words and with these words
I speak the truth; I am alive, I live for this, performing words

In plays and poetry, pantoums, haikus, sestinas, sonnets, songs
I am complete yet so alone, imagination rules my world
I speak the truth, I am alive, I live for this, peforming words
Because I'm itching to create, cut loose and let the demons out

I am complete yet so alone, imagination rules my world
Through a glass wall, I try to hear you but it's hard to understand
Because I'm itching to create, cut loose and let the demons out
See, I've got snakes inside my ears and bursting blisters on my brain.

All poetry written by Alain English