don't breathe

teacher tells me to imagine the gunshots are just something silly

like a clown knocking over a priceless vase because he is clumsy

and there is one now, one vase down    haha

and then another maybe this one is a silly man

walking in to a glass door that crashes and smashes         haha

then I lie very still and don’t breathe

don’t breathe

because if we breathe they might knock more vases over

silly clowns          haha

if we breathe they might walk in to more glass doors

silly men              haha

so I don’t breathe

and something is running in to my mouth

so I close my mouth

and don’t breathe

and I look over at my friend

and she is not breathing

and I am so proud of her

because she is really good at pretending

then the teacher howls and its loud its loud

and everyone is pretending now

everyone is pretending now

everyone is pretending now

everyone is pretending now

◄ something glows inside all of us

i search for love on a cold dead morning ►


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john short

Fri 22nd Dec 2017 11:57

Hi Stu, to me this poem is a kind of comment on the human condition. We live in a world so volatile and crazy that we're almost too scared to breathe. And there is a silent consensus agreement to pretend that everything's okay really (just watch TV commercials). Maybe this isn't what you were trying to say but that's how I understood it. I think you could probably lose "because he is clumsy" as it's not necessary. But a very good poem which has impact.

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Martin Elder

Sun 3rd Dec 2017 15:28

There are times at first reading when I don't always understand your poems Stu but I always admire them and the beauty of the writing. I think this also makes them more appealing as I have to work harder forcing me to read them with more than a casual glance.
I do pick up a real sense of fear and anxiety with this one together with the need for the individual to try affirm themselves in this piece with
'everyone is pretending now'
Nice one

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