She has everything that shes ever wanted and yet she feels like her world is coming in around her
She feels everything collapsing and everything settling through
The claustrophobia seeps through her veins and makes her muscles stiff like creepy floorboards

Her childhood hadn't hit its demise but now that shes growing older she finds her self growing darker
She finds her hair getting longer with her lists of regrets
And "what if" becomes tattooed all over her forehead as she cries

She drinks her coffee like she drinks her sorrows and uses them to bring her energy
She takes a shower in the morning before applying her plaster smile onto her plastered face
Her veins start losing blood
As she sits poised in the corner of her room with her back to the wall, her hands begin to shake
And the energy is draining and draining like a car on a long road as the tank reads empty
She knows she will be climbing but her rope will fray, and soon she will be

Falling. And failing. And falling to failure and without a rope to support her
She knows she is going to be a disappointment to that bubble around her and there is nothing that she can do to stop it
Her veins are turning colder
She knows. She knows that life is not a test and that the textbook does not exist and no matter how late she stays up studying she will not take home the honor roll
She will sit in this corner as the room shrinks with the claustrophobia now being a part of her soul
A soul filled with dirt and and love and lust and sadness

While she is alone as the moon floods the sky
She finds herself in the ocean, as her happiness is sinking
Her overwhelming thoughts flooding her
The water turning her hands prune and the sand running through her hair
She is beautiful, and as she drifts into the sea like this
Her veins are ice


◄ Desolate


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