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COFFEE CUPS AND PLATES

COFFEE CUPS AND PLATES

 

Sticky rings of coffee

Punctuate the flat

Like lost moments,

Sharing their space

With ash and singed paint.

Mugs are drowning in cold dishwater

And plates lie dying

With memories of meals

Painted on their glaze.

Artefacts of a life

Decorate the walls,

Small portals to nostalgia

Flavouring the mind with a taste of history.

Yesterday’s stale loaf

With a severed crust,

Crumbs and butter bleeding

From the bread knife,

Dies on the work surface

Just inches from the safety of an empty breadbin.

Discarded clothes grow

From the old carpet,

Mushrooms on an unkempt lawn,

With pages of a newspaper

Spread like autumn leaves

Fallen from the tree of another day’s news.

Lost glories are woven

Into the scent of the room

Fermenting in reminiscence.

Lost love floats in smoke rings

Perfuming the recollections

With the heartbreak of a lover’s absence.

Hope degrades in the waste bin

With empty fag packets

 Crumpled unsent letters

And a future without purpose

Left untended, unfertilised

By anything other than loneliness.

◄ Reluctant Sculpture

Scars...again... ►

Comments

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Tony Stringfellow

Wed 21st Oct 2009 20:02

Oh how we fall into the well of arrogance, to think we are qualified to judge others.I take the backhanded compliment,but your self assuredness has missed the point completely, I don't give a damn what you say about me, it is the others that you destroy with you judgements that I am concerned for!I have played the hand and you have fallen for the bluff...play on...

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 21st Oct 2009 19:36

Graham, don't ever be intimidated by a profile. I saw Tony's profile too, and still thought the poem could be honed down.
The picture reminds me of a famous photograph of Oscar Wilde.

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 21st Oct 2009 14:58

Sorry Tony. I've just looked at your profile. We are not worthy (and I thought I was being positive).

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Tony Stringfellow

Wed 21st Oct 2009 13:44

"Oh how I wish I could laugh out loud in the silent confusion!". This is what I despair about in the poetry world. Everyone wants to repaint your picture rather than accept that it is your picture in your style and with your colours. If you like the picture, then that's great, if you don't, well that's fine too, but please don't try to touch up my work, rather paint your own. I offer it up for your enjoyment...as I'm sure many do, but they must be wary of the art critics, they only foster a creativity of doubt and insecurity....There's the old saying, which is meaningful here..."If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all". Please don't mistake my comments as being vengeful, they aren't, I accept that if I offer up my work, it will be criticised, and indeed is, globaly. In itself it is a form of flattery that people have been hooked enough to have an opinion. However, I work extensively in the poetry world and in education etc, and have seen many talented people destroyed by people who 'know better'. In my experience, though, they rarely do.

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 20th Oct 2009 23:04

Tony, I don't agree with Cynthia (nothing new) I'd like to see it crammed even more fully with these examples of dereliction and suchlike. My problem with it is that it is clumsy, the examples are too long-winded. I would love to re-write it but I hate people that do that when they criticize. It's a grand piece, but if you do change it, shorten the examples.

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Tony Stringfellow

Tue 20th Oct 2009 20:28

Hmm,well Cynthia, when you're painting a picture, you don't take out the colours do you? And I paint in many ways, depending on the picture. I feel that this one needs the full pallet. But I can do just an outline, if that's what you prefer...

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 20th Oct 2009 19:51

It does work, Tony, but rather ponderously. I would cull the fabulous images (many) and jettison the indulgent ones which simply overstate a point already well made eg. 'inches from the safety of the bread bin', 'Spread like autumn leaves' Fermenting in reminiscence' etc.
I've read it three times and I still feel shorter would be better.

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Tony Stringfellow

Tue 20th Oct 2009 17:23

Thanks Dave, it looks like it works then....

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Dave Bradley

Tue 20th Oct 2009 17:02

I liked this Tony. It made me imagine weak sunlight silently filtering through dusty windows and past grubby curtains, with dim faraway traffic noise emphasising the deadness and lack of energy.

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