Did you notice?
I didn't visit you today
Did you notice?
Were you there?
I didn't say your name today
Did you notice?
Do you care?
I didn't send you love today
Did you notice?
Is this fair?
I didn't reach for you today
Did you notice?
Were you there?
I didn't cry for us today
Did you notice?
Do you care?
I didn't hear your voice today
Did you notice?
Is this fair?
I didn't need your strength today
Did you notice?
Were you there?
I didn't miss you once today
Did you notice?
Do you care?
I didn't think of you today
Did you notice?
Is this fair?
I haven't told the truth today
Do you miss me?
Are you there?
<Deleted User> (13762)
Fri 21st Jul 2017 08:11
I very much like the idea behind this Lauren but I found the repetition quite tiresome. However I'm sure others would disagree. I do think there is scope to play around with the presentation of this poem if you so desired. Here's a quick example:
I didn't visit you today
or say your name
or send you love
Did you notice?
Do you care?
In this way the poem would be reduced to three verses (if one was ditched) and much of the repetition reduced. Repetition can be a slightly controversial technique in poetry - some like it for its sing-song structure whilst others want to take a carving knife to it as to them it just gets in the way. I'm not sure there is any right answer as like all things it is down to personal preference.
Hope you don't mind me waffling. I'll shut up now before I start repeating myself! All the best,
Colin.