in public

you walk back from the panic 
retracing your steps through years

key incidents flash in your face
loud as gunshots

you crawl knot by knot
to the front of the stage

silently scanning
every line you'll deliver

a bonobo grooming
her lover

you open your mouth
applause booms out

endorphins kick in
you don't remember

a word of what you said
you wanna do it again