I have seen a sneezing chicken

At a farm just down the road,

And the parrot round the corner needs a look.

I have heard him talking turkey,

So I 'spect he caught the lurgy

Over there.

That old woman he belongs to

Is loaded, and she goes to

Anywhere she fancies

On a whim.

With that bird stuffed in her drawers,

She's been off to the Azores,

And who knows what dreaded bug he picked up there.

When he whistles out the window,

How the hell do we know,

If his germs have jumped across to Sunday lunch.

Go get yourself a jab now.

Don't let that crazy bird cow.

Get you ill from all her wandering abroad.

One parrot cough goes flying,

And your coq-au-vin is dying.

So are you if you don't watch it.

But whatever, I will profit

When my vaccine shares

Are shooting through the roof.