Your Chain Hangs From My Rear-View Mirror
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Swinging and swaying with every turn i take
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Untouched, unwanted, unable to take it down
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
A reminder of how things used to be
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Testing my patience and strength
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
Looked passed and ignored
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
How long has it been since we talked
Your chain hangs from my rear-view mirror
And you are never coming back
<Deleted User> (13762)
Mon 24th Apr 2017 22:43
I see from your sample poem Syd that you like repetition but in my opinion it needs to be used with some caution. I'm not sure it quite works here but I do like that line very much and it's a great idea for a poem. An alternate structure might run like this:
Your chain hangs
from my rear-view mirror
Swinging, swaying
with every turn i take
Untouched, unwanted
unable to take it down
A reminder of how things used to be
Your chain hangs
from my rear-view mirror
Swinging, swaying
testing my patience and strength
Looked passed, ignored
you are never coming back
How long it has been since we talked
but hey, it's just a suggestion seen from a different writing perspective. It's the kind of poem that could be played around with. Hope you don't mind me saying. Thanks for posting. Colin