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Left Behind

Left Behind

 

 

soon you were only the rise and fall

of a close watched chest

an intake of oxygen

a faint hiss of hope

 

and then you were silence

love hung like rain

on the taut stretched moment

before tears tipped and fell

 

and we clung to all the things you used to be

ignored the fading warmth of fingers

the stiffening of skin

crowded the room with memories

as though your final calm was not enough

◄ Hero

On Parade ►

Comments

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Garry Rowlands

Mon 24th Apr 2017 17:48

Beautifully done.

elPintor

Mon 24th Apr 2017 02:23

A painfully authentic piece--as David said, "as if I were actually there"...

To me, the second verse is especially remarkable.

elP

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Paul Waring

Sun 23rd Apr 2017 23:38

Karen, this is a well-written, crafted poem. I enjoyed this very much, well done.

Paul

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Martin Elder

Sun 23rd Apr 2017 17:40

I think Emer is right you right so well. This is fabulous. I look forward to more of your postings. fab

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raypool

Sun 23rd Apr 2017 16:36

Stunningly expressed with simplicity and directness, everything in place and riveting.

Ray

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 23rd Apr 2017 15:43

An excellent few lines on immediate loss, tender and tough simultaneously. The writing craft is easy, and effective. Your last line is superb in its philosophical summary of finality.

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Emer Ni Chorra

Sun 23rd Apr 2017 13:18

You write so well. A moving, beautiful piece?

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