It was an afternoon gathering - a family shindig

BBQ – beer – strawberries and cream

People drifting about drinks in hand

All teeth and ears mooching for entertainment 

Muted chorus of shrill soprano, booming bass

Staccato yaps of children, and the dog.

 

To an auntie at my elbow, I said quietly

'My daughter has a fine little tree over there -

that one with the furry trunk and fuzzy branches.

'Buck's Antlers' it's called. Well-named I'd say.'

She swallowed a chunk of burger noisily.

'What did you call it?'

'Buck's Antlers'.

And then she began to laugh, hugely.

'Oh! That's priceless!' she spluttered through crumbs and cola.

'Ha! Ha! Ha!'

In seconds the whole garden was engaged.

 

Cynthia had made a splendid faux pas!

It wouldn't bother her to be laughed at.

She's a good egg, not at all silly.

The family was having a great time.

Well, I had to ask. 'What's so funny?'

''Ha! Ha! Not 'Buck's Antlers! Stag's Horn!

It's called Stag's Horn!' And off they went again.

'Same principle!', I objected

But got nowhere, not a flicker of sympathy.

'OK! OK! Stag's Horn! I'll not get it wrong again.'

(Crossing fingers and toes, my eyes and my nose!)

 

SheeshLaMeesh! The English!

I  love them, I really do.

But I'll get even, never doubt it.

When their guard is down I'll start a conversation about POSH

And then watch fly the proverbial poo

As they wallow around in vague contradictions

With no clear concept of what they're talking about.

Now THAT is entertainment.