Cold Coffee (Reworked)

She sits at the kitchen table,

aimlessly stirring a lukewarm coffee cup,

her thoughts a thousand miles away.

Shading her eyes

against the sun’s glare,

as she gazes at the cobalt sea.

The figure running up the beach casts a shadow,

a spectre that evokes visions

of the distant kitchen table.

As he sprawls beside her,

she becomes conscious

that she hates cold coffee.

🌷(1)

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Comments

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Trevor Alexander

Tue 4th Apr 2017 23:51

Yes, I might remove the 'cup'. It's sort of an orphan from the previous version which is also on this site (link below). Like many of my poems, it's never 'finished'. I return from time to time and tinker with them. And I guess my mood at the time has an effect on that.

https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=64613

Thanks for reading, and for your input.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 4th Apr 2017 17:17

I much like the thought in this, but I find the punctuation distracting. Would you consider dropping the word 'cup' to just 'aimlessly stirring a lukewarm coffee'? I'd actually like to see the other version, to be honest.

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