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School dinners

The pride of Mrs thingamabob

And her crew

So much food plopped on to plates

That rarely looked enticing

Hot and steaming a kitchen big enough

To cook and stew food for a fleet

Often steaming up her glasses

The queue moving slowly

Enough for me to chat to girls

And do what I always did

Play the fool

The court jester

To be verbally patted on the head

By these girls who were totally out of my league

 

The cabbage boiled to death

Just in case it made

A bid for freedom

Salads with lettuce an escaped tomato

And a few hardened peas

Curries that made my friend

Go completely red in the cheeks

Semolina with just a spot of jam

Creamy tadpoles on a plate

And the cooks revenge

Cold disgusting pink blancmange

That wobbled both on the plate

And in my stomach if I dare let it in

Mashed potato dispensed

In rounded ice cream scoops

But the best of all was

The hot steaming puddings

With something that passed for custard

 

Primary school was better

When we had, shepherd’s pie

With a thick browned and crusted topping

Cooked by the nuns

With whom

You would not argue

Served in great steaming metal dish’s

With real minced meat carrots and mashed potato’s

And stew that you could stand you spoon up in

Sponged puddings with real custard

Every so often having to abandon the main building

Because of the cracks in the walls were getting bigger

Perhaps they should have filled it

With the gravy applied in smoothed out lumps

With a trowel

◄ High street

I am arisen ►

Comments

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Martin Elder

Wed 15th Mar 2017 17:37

Thank you all for reading this poem and your positive feedback.
You are right Ja'Net I am a Brit. It's good to know that the whole trauma of school dinners translates beyond these shores.
It's interesting Gary Ray and Colin that the whole semolina saga resonates so much with so many people.
I have yet to find anybody that enjoyed such a delicacy.

But burnt semolina is a new one on me Gary and to be forced fed the stuff Ray certainly goes beyond the pail.

Interesting the nun fetish thing David could there be a poem there! I have to admit never being hit with a ladle but the head teacher a nun had a piece of bamboo cane about six foot she would use on unwitting victims and then laugh insanely after they had been dismissed .

Glad you liked it Paul, its funny how some things stick in your memory, can still smell boiled cabbage ugh!

Stu I love the line about Escapeas! I know what you mean about the girls, totally agree.
thanks again
Martin

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Stu Buck

Wed 15th Mar 2017 16:48

yes great memories evoked here martin. i too played the fool, still do, and wouldnt change it for the world. the people you thought were out of your league then quickly slip down the chain i find. also love the cabbage line. whenever i dropped peas in the kitchen (i used to be a chef) it was tradition for at least one of us to shout 'ESCAPEAS' at the top of our voice.

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Gary Rimmer

Tue 14th Mar 2017 22:19

Takes me back Martin, you've captured the atmosphere.

They burnt the semolina one year in my school and not many liked it. Those that did got seconds thirds and fourths!

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raypool

Tue 14th Mar 2017 14:15

What a festive treat Martin. All within early memory. I love the line about A bid for freedom priceless. May I add that as an infant I was force fed semolina by a sadist at school?
Strange that early meal provision is now regarded as a real benefit by people who were never around at the time.

Ray

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Paul Waring

Tue 14th Mar 2017 09:08

Cor, Martin, a trip and a half down school dinner memory lane. Plenty of humour, too.

Good stuff.

Paul

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 14th Mar 2017 07:49

brings back memories Martin - not all pleasant! We are what we eat which is why I never eat creamy tadpoles on a plate!

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Ja'Net McDonald

Tue 14th Mar 2017 01:46

Nice! From some of the wording, I venture to say that you're a Brit, but I could so see and relate to all that you said, yet it wasn't clichéd nor flat. Kudos! Outstanding job!

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