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Army of pacifists

She knew he was psycho 

It takes two to tango.

she was just as guilty. 

She was just as guilty.

He preyed on her because he saw her weaknesses 

the holes through her defense 

he was gonna score

he was gonna score ! 

They are not what they seem.

The critters crawling in their teeth

Hiding behind sheep

hiding behind sheep. 

 

Dystopiamanipulationcognitive dissonance

◄ uneven

I dreamed of cold heart ►

Comments

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medamorfisis

Thu 6th Apr 2017 20:16

<Deleted User> (13762)

Tue 7th Mar 2017 14:12

I read this first thing this morning and rather liked it. Just thinking out loud I wondered about cutting that long line down to match the rest and rhyme with the next, say:

He preyed on her weaknesses
the holes (through / in) her defences

I also wondered, because the characters are basically the same whether you could make the whole thing into more of a battle of wits:

she was just as guilty.
he was just as guilty!

he was gonna score
she was gonna score!

hiding behind her sheep
hiding behind his sheep.

It's one of those poems that you could easily play around with I think. Anyways, just some thoughts. Fun with words. C?L

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