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Two bird poems

Heron Taking Flight

 

Rickety, this ruckle

of struts and ragged canvas,

a collapsing tent

of awkwardness

unmade by the earth,

by degrees cranks into

its one true element:

slipping tethers

into air.

________

 

Preliminary Findings

 

Preliminary findings

suggest a probable

leakage of fuel

before the tank exploded.

(Cockpit not located

at the crash site).

Fuselage gashed,

landing gear mangled -

almost certainly on impact.

Every exit tells

of onboard panic;

a trajectory without flight;

freefall without wings;

loss of essential

communications,

but the site's integrity

subsequently breached

by looters, voiding

further observation.

 

Although no black box

has been brought to light,

the cold bird explained

its murder perfectly.

 

 

 

 

 

naturewildlifebirds

◄ Olives

Final Act ►

Comments

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Paul Waring

Sat 4th Mar 2017 14:11

Two very good poems David. I particularly like Heron Taking Flight.

Paul

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 4th Mar 2017 10:42

Very clever stuff.
You've got the heron to a T.
We have three on our lake.
So graceful standing still. Awful in flight!
Well done on this.

elPintor

Sat 4th Mar 2017 01:30

I particularly like the economic use of words in part two--very reminiscent of a forensics investigation and report. And, I really like it's contrast with part one..clearly a change in tone and style.

Truly extraordinary construction all the way 'round, to me.

elP

ps
there's a scene in the movie 'Sully' where the main character (Sully, the pilot) is sitting in a bar and is approached by two patrons who tell him that they've recently named a cocktail after his harrowing experience--"grey goose with a splash of water"...I don't believe Sully found it funny at all.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:21

I'm intrigued that you've billed (sry!) this as two separate poems David. I think I would be inclined to scrap all three titles and find something that links the two together and present it as one - maybe with a little dash between stanzas to show they are individual yet connected. Presented in this way would definitely tick all the black boxes for me. Regardless, I very much enjoyed. Colin.

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Stu Buck

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 19:06

love the first piece, wonderful study of an incredible animal. nailed it.

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Harry O'Neill

Fri 3rd Mar 2017 15:35

Particularly like that first stanza David.

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