The Stream
The stream
Is where my younger years were spent
The stream
My most dependable of friends
The stream
In which we hid our feet from view
The stream
To where it flowed, we never knew
The stream
The scene of countless conker fights
The stream
So tranquil on a summer night
The stream
Where we would seek our evening dish
The stream
Where only once I saw a fish
The stream
I leapt across to get to school
The stream
Which nearly made me look a fool
The stream
Was where I'd play through sun and rain
The stream
Which kids these days won't entertain
The stream
Which floats along without a care
The stream
Which carries on without me there.
Travis Brow
Fri 3rd Mar 2017 12:09
Hello Neil, i was going to say you could eliminate a few of 'the stream(s), but as i think about it, it seems as though the phrase runs through the poem as a stream runs through the landscape.
I'm a stickler for line lengths and syllabic balance and so i'd suggest you work on a few of the lines to even them out, but that's an opinion so feel free to ignore it.
Perhaps you can start from the last line and strip it back further? Again, kick this into the long grass if you want...