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Conversations About Miles Davis

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It comes around again, the night,
the promise of chance encounters.

I see her by the end of the bar, alone.
Her face in profile looks like an Italian coastline.

I wander over and begin the dance
between two foreign winds.

We have conversations about Miles Davis,
mutual satisfactions
of each other's thoughts.
We share a love of Polish cinema
and smoke the same brand;
a gentle lean into each other
to light the tip of a cigarette.

With the flush of wine in our cheeks
we leave this dark place
and walk to a park to further this meeting.

She carries twenty strict years 
of catholic prayer
on her slight shoulders,
shoulders that are speckled with the 
scattering madness of jazz,
and I whisper into her ear
that a shoulder without freckles 
is like a sky without stars,
and we kiss, on a bowling green
under moonlight.

Through the night I explore 
the landscape of her body,
the texture of her words,
the secrets of her scent
and we sleep in perfect jigsaw arms,
matching each other's shallow breaths. 

The pure sugar of the morning arrives
and our surroundings sing,
birdsong plays over the low hum of a generator,
punctuated by the flap of new mail,
the tinkle of a milk float.

Then a silence, a falter between heartbeats
and lying on this square patch of green,
unspeaking, an epiphany emerges:
we are the sadness 
in a smudge on a blank page.

◄ Oh, To Live In Chechnya (thoughts on an afternoon)

The Waiting ►

Comments

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Nichola Burrows

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 15:35

Well said! ( that last comment you made that is ).

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Nichola Burrows

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 15:27

Hi john,

Studied with you for a year and the first time I have heard the term 'toheresque' I have some comments on your poem, but need to look over it again.

Hope you are well.




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John Togher

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 15:20

All assumptions are not wrong; that's the great thing about reading poetry.
If the poem works for you (the reader) based on an assumption and you enjoy the poem, that's great. I don't think authorial intent is the most important element of reading poetry; it can spoil it if anything.

<Deleted User> (5646)

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 15:17

Comments crossed John, thanks for your reply but i won't remove my comment. It's a common theme on here to believe what the poet writes is based on someone known to them. Yours demonstrates nicely how wrong we can be when we make assumptions.

Janet.x

<Deleted User> (5646)

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 15:12

Ah Isobel but i happen to know John is a very happy man in his marriage. Realism is a necessary part of a happy relationship. Personally i think that last line says that there's so much more could be said and the sadness smudges on the blank page are that which is within and cannot be portrayed on a piece of paper. Whatever is said/written here could be assessed as being either too much or not enough. Whether it is about his wife or not, it is an eloquent write delivering something very personal in a semi detached manner. Not an easy thing to do in anyone's book. (book of life or love).
I'm with Spencer, this would be a fantastic piece to enter into a book. A book about life or a series of poems on the theme of relationships and/or marriage. Wonderful.

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John Togher

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 15:10

It's not about my wife, or anyone in particular.

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Isobel

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 12:49

Now Janet - that is a bit of a risky question to ask... Were I his wife, I'm not sure I would like to be described as the 'sadness in a smudge on a blank page' - but perhaps John is aiming for a bit of realism... I like the mood you set with this poem. I've heard you perform it but think it is better on page where you can appreciate the words more.

<Deleted User> (5646)

Wed 23rd Sep 2009 12:43

I'm alongside John Darwin here. Togher at his level best.

Is this about your wife?
Particularly love the line, 'a shoulder without freckles is like a sky without stars.'

Janet.x

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:32

Gorgeous! Imagery is outstanding, diction is musical, wooing the reader through your story with increased delight, anticipating an intelligent, well-executed conclusion... which you duly provide.

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John Darwin

Tue 22nd Sep 2009 11:21

Togheresque and typically enjoyable.

John

<Deleted User> (6510)

Tue 22nd Sep 2009 10:51

I like this piece , I must admit you caught me unaware because of the ref to Miles Davis , I saw this and started to read whilst still breaking the weld that sleep bestows, then suddenly BANG. 'We share a love of polish cinema' , that line creates strong imagery. As a fan of Miles Davis I have drawn my own picture regarding the mood and feel of the piece and it may not be the image others have ,but it works for me ,perhaps some lines could do with editing , please don't take that the wrong way , the piece is yours and we are all different. The picture of Miles concentrates the imagery by setting the piece up (very good combination for a book ,) If I was given this to read or heard it spoken I would definitely smile or clap at the end.

darren thomas

Tue 22nd Sep 2009 10:14

Hi John - as discussed.

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