On Women:

“Welcome to Man Mart!
Low, low prices every day!
Be sure to check out our discount shelf!
We have a special on used Matts!”

“Hi. I'd like to return this Matt.
He just didn't live up to my expectations.”
“Do you have the receipt?”
“Then all we can offer you is a gift card.
Though you also have the option
of exchanging him for someone
of equal or lesser value.
There's a sale right now on
Jeremys and Garys.”

“I guess I'll take a Gary.”
“Thanks for shopping at Man Mart!”

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