Morning Musing

Comfort
Is a recorded scene
A personal slice
Of a pleasant dream
Harmoniously shifting
Away the obscene
To the whole it does not mean
Anything
But to the individual it is pure
Sacred
Clean

Each day is a recorded act
Routinely rewound and played back
Apathetically drifting to the same track
Silently existing to all but the abstract
Minded.

So far reigns the protagonist
If a little monotonous
So stage left the antagonist
Orchestral cacophonous
Agent of discord, comfort's anarchist
But wait this is not accurately synonymous
With no intent of being truly reflectionist

Life then, is a recorded play
An assortment of comforts
To get through a day

You assign all the characters
You set every scene
Most importantly you choose
Nightmare or dream

◄ Antisocial Transport

Flightless flight of blight and fright ►

Comments

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Mel Shield

Wed 15th Feb 2017 16:09

Thank you both for the feedback. I never usually write with a rappy vibe, but I have been listening to a lot of Scroobius Pip and Sound of Rum/Kate Tempest recently (and when I wrote the poem) so wanted to explore that style a little.

I take no issue to the suggested edit. 😊

Thanks again,
Mel.

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Frances Macaulay Forde

Tue 7th Feb 2017 03:15

I agree with Colin, Mel. The real poem is in these lines which I have taken the liberty (hope you don't mind) of editing to demonstrate how strong they can be. I also wanted to show how complete, with brevity:

Life then, is a recorded play;
an assortment of comforts
to get through the day.

You assign all the characters.
set every scene; importantly
choosing nightmare or dream.

Only my humble opinion, of course. I enjoy your writing.
Best,
Frances.😊

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 26th Jan 2017 17:23

Hi Mel, have to admit I'm not a great lover of this type of rhyme - sort of rappy, makes me wanna wave me arms about and point my fingers in odd directions - but I like what you are trying to convey and your last 4 lines especially. It reminds me a little of Grahams's poem Prune Tend Grow which I read just a while ago. Our morning musings can so often affect our day, or someone else's if they decide to offload on you. Cheers for posting, Colin.

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