My Unfavorite Things

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Helps if you know the tune.....maybe 

Apologise to Julie Andrews plus Rodgers & Hammerstein fans in advance 

Brown stains on undies
And whiskers on ladies
4g fun vacuums & screaming babies
Cunnilingus, then finding a string!
These are a few of my unfavorite things

Allah n Jesus, Scientology & Krishna 
Jehovahs on doorbells  
On planes farty smells
Pointless Vivisection, no cure it brings
These are a few of my unfavorite things

People who scratch then smell their finger
Overpriced water Big brother & petrodollar
Reality TV overpaid wankers my brain it stings
These are a few of my unfavorite things

When the sun rises
When a bird sings
When I'm feeling glad
I simply don't remember my unfavorite things
Jimmy Savile is dead, & I don't feel sad

Brown stains on undies
And whiskers on ladies
4g fun vacuums & screaming babies
Cunnilingus, then finding a string!
These are a few of my unfavorite things

Standing in dog shit, dickheads & neoclassical 
People who have 5 kids, a big car tell me to recycle!
Zipping up my penis, Christ how it stings
These are a few of my unfavorite things

People who scratch then smell their fingers
Overpriced water Big brother & petrodollar
Reality TV overpaid wankers my brain it stings
These are a few of my unfavorite things

When the sun rises
When a bird sings
When I'm feeling glad
I simply don't remember my unfavorite things
Jimmy Savile's dead, & I don't feel sad

◄ 172800 Seconds In A Life

I'm Ready ►

Comments

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MGS

Wed 8th Mar 2017 04:45

What a funny piece... You made me laugh out loud 😁

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Jeff

Fri 27th Jan 2017 10:18

Thanks Juan & you're right, free speach is a thing we should cherish as a developed species. Certainly better than blowing yourself up on a bus full of children, murdering 25 million South American Indians, vows of silence & child rape to name a few of ways religion manifests itself to the unbeliever......Jeff...

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Juan Pablo Lynch

Thu 26th Jan 2017 02:45

I'm a big fan of Jesus...He is my favorite person actually...Having said that I am not one to block off people and their work because of difference in believes. Honestly though the poem turned me off though because I'm a Christian but I hope to continue reading your pieces in the future.

Juan

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Jeff

Wed 25th Jan 2017 07:17

Thanks Louise.....I'm not the biggest Julie Andrews fan.....Jeff.

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Louise Hogg

Mon 23rd Jan 2017 17:27

Clever.

It made me raise a smile. 😃

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