(Mg,Fe)2SiO4

by Rafael

Tuesday 17th January 2017 12:10 pm (first posted Saturday 14th January 2017 10:53 am)

A belated phrase swims to me.

Whenever we talk

Your peridot aura reaches first

There's constant contrast between you and I

It grows far greater when we shorten the distance

I love it when people can't help but stare.

All they see is us,

All I see is you.

We're two fennel sprouts

Basking in a public garden; ripe

Exposed. Ready to be plucked

...Yet, surely, no one around is hungry

Me and you; we're still grounded center.

Plus,

My stalks

My leaves and my bulb,

They all rest against you

And you stay.

Comments

John F Keane

Sat 28th Jan 2017 15:15

Very nice poem, I especially like the right justified stanzas. They really throw the eye and add a novel dimension to the reading experience. The scientific title is also intriguing for a poem about matters of the heart.

Randall Eckstein

Sun 15th Jan 2017 07:46

A very warm and meaningful poem. It hits a very comfortable point between an inside joke and a well-known meme-- what I mean is it's at once approachable, and unique.

<Deleted User> (13762)

Sat 14th Jan 2017 16:19

I'm not completely sure what to make of this - how much I like it - which is a good response to a poem - curiosity. It feels original and different - peridot auras and fennel sprouts being two images not often combined in a poem. Nice one.

Jeff

Sat 14th Jan 2017 11:44

Nothing like a girl to get the mind wandering & this is simply wonderful to read...pop it in a Valentines card next month mate!...Jeff...

Rafael

Sat 14th Jan 2017 11:38

Thank you very much, Graham!

Your words mean a lot to my 25 yr old wandering mind lol

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't bide my time dreaming and writing... but man, reading your kind words really does cheer me up!!

Thank you!!

Graham Sherwood

Sat 14th Jan 2017 11:27

Words like this from someone your age (judging by your photo) cannot fail to make a mark.
To be young and in love is the most precious, sometimes fleeting condition that you will ever know. Write about it as much as you can! Before you get too old, write, write!

Rafael

Sat 14th Jan 2017 11:13

Hi everyone!

This is a poem that I wrote about a girl I like. She has gorgeous red hair, tiny freckles and she's beautiful : )

I myself have light brown skin with jet-black hair, so I decided to write this poem based off the fact that we both have a deep contrast between each other's appearance.

When we're seen in public together, it feels like we attract the attention of everyone around us. As if they all know, straight-out-the-bat, that we both like each other haha

Anyways, this is basically just a love letter lol
Thanks for reading!

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(Mg,Fe)2SiO4

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