I've realized I continuously put myself down there's this side to me that's almost evil. 
I don't know why it brings itself to my mind embedded in my cells.
It talks in tones that echo into my speech.
I want to take this part of me and shed it off to throw it over a cliff. 
It's the doubt that's infectious.
As I have always seen shutting down as the only choice.
When that is such a awful way to live. 
I will accept this side of me that I don't understand.

I will make sense of it so I can learn to work with it.

It will not control my fear any longer.