I have a problem,

her name is "My Wife".

She claims the house is her domain,

but complains when I call myself "King of the Car".

 

She hates driving,

so I graciously drive on family trips

and she gets to turn around and 

try and make the kids shut up.

 

"I have to pee!"

"I'm hungry!"

"She's bothering me!"

And of course, the classic,

"Are we there yet?".

 

But I wish she'd have

more respect for my choices.

I don't complain when she makes meatloaf,

at least not very often.

 

But there's always something she has to say.

In my opinion, she's worse than the kids.

"Use your blinker, people aren't mind readers!"

"You're going way too fast, were gonna be arrested!"

 

Another thing she'd tell you,

"There is a reason that the stick-shift

is the shape of a-"

She can't finish because there are

kids in the backseat. 

 

Ugh. I hate meatloaf.