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"Caz - End of the Affair"

I said, "Don’t love me,

‘we’ can never ever be".

I said another

held my heart, my hopes, my dreams.

She heard, but Caz did not...'hear'.

 

We had days of fun.

Romping nights of lusting. All

overshadowed by

that other lover lurking,

behind doors of memory.

 

Caz tried to ask me

if my, “Darling I love you”

whispers were for her

or aimed at the other one.

I could not reply truly.

 

I had no answer

For her insecurity

No reassurance

no unguent, no platitude,

nothing but poignant silence.

 

Through winter evenings

We stared at embers glowing

in our Queenie stove.

Eating buttered toast. Drinking

special recipe mulled wine,

 

With each fond gesture

Met with a trite, “Thanks, Darling.”

And clink of glasses

we played games of 'make believe'.

Caz, and I, were both victims,

 

Clinging together.

Lost souls.  At best, second best.

Damaged goods, flotsam

Detritus overboard from

ships colliding in the night.

 

Her heart was broken

when I said, “It's done. No more”.

I stare at embers

now, alone, and wondering.

Wondering and wondering.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

◄ "Donegal Eden"

"Meeting Mrs Potiphar" ►

Comments

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Rick Gammon

Wed 21st Sep 2016 18:28

Thanks, Cynthia, I struggle with the more personal poems - I always thought of poetry as indecent exposure of the soul - but it has to be if it is worth reading.

This is the real end of my love affair with Caz - she of "Donegal Eden" and also of "Lisdoonvarna" - we had sweet times together tempered (spoiled) by my love for another - I'll put up my one about her if I have not already done so. She inflicted the deepest hurts I ever knew and yet still I loved her ??

It is written to tanka line syllable requirements - good for keeping oneself in check.

Thanks again.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 21st Sep 2016 12:37

I do like all of this. But I find your first 14 lines a formidable poem in themselves with a real POW factor -hard hitting with your message clear as crystal.This might be because I'm a woman.

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