A rambunctious giant was Finn MacCool

Through Ireland he did roam

And Fort-of-Allen in County Kildare

Was where he called his home.

 

He built a Causeway ‘cross the Irish Sea

Made out of cobblestones.

Six sides each one had and so neatly laid,

‘Twas like a honeycomb

 

To Benandonner Finn shouted and yelled,

A hostile giant Scot.

Challenging him outright to come and fight,

Then wished that he had not.

 

For as he came close, and then closer still,

Finn soon became afraid.

For Benandonner was bigger than him

At which he was dismayed.

 

Finn skedaddled back to County Kildare,

And Oonagh his fair wife.

Explaining to her of his second thoughts

On the impending strife.

 

From as far as Kilcock Finn heard the thud

Of Benandonner’s boots,

And into each ear to stifle the sound

Five pounds of moss he put.

 

Nearer came the Scot and then nearer still

And Finn said to his mate;

Oh my dearest Oonagh, please hide me well,

And save me from this fate.

 

So Oonagh put him in the great tin bath,

And covered him with sheets.

She rushed to the hammering on the door

The giant Scot to greet.

 

Oh Sir, she said, it is really a shame,

But Finn is running late.

He went off to Kerry to hunt the deer;

Won’t you come in and wait?

 

Leave your spear outside the door next to Finn’s,

She pointed to a tree,

By his shield she said showing a wood block

As big as four cart wheels.

 

Finn’s missing his favourite meal, she said

Please have some if you wish;

Just sit you down here, it will not be long,

I’ll soon bring you a dish.

 

So Oonagh baked him a griddled cake, with

Iron griddle inside.

The meat was a strip of hard fat nailed to

A wood block, on the side.

 

Benandonner was famished with hunger,

So bit into the cake

And three front teeth fell on the floor in bits

And caused his jaw to ache.

 

Still ravenous, Benandonner then tried

To chew upon the meat;

Two back teeth cracked and fell down to

The floor beside his feet.

 

She gave him a bucket of honey beer,

Five gallons, strong and free.

He drank it right down, then wobbled, and found

That he could hardly see.

 

Would you like to see the baby? she said,

But first she must be fed.

Then to the huge ‘babe’ in the bath she tossed

Another loaf of bread.

 

It was Finn himself hiding ‘neath the sheets,

Lying where he had fled.

But Benandonner was feeling woozy,

And longed to clear his head

 

Oonagh took the Scot out to the garden,

Where boulders lay aground.

She said Finn and his friends play catch with these,

And left them lying round.

 

Well Benandonner thought to have a go,

But then was filled with dread.

Using all his strength he could barely lift

A stone above his head.

 

He dropped it then from his quivering arms,

It fell down on his neck.

He wasn’t hurt for his head was hard, but

He was a nervous wreck.

 

This fellow Finn must be bigger than me,

And stronger too I think.

He made a quick farewell to Oonagh then

Back off to Scotland slinked.

 

Then bold Finn jumped up and he thanked his wife

For all her trickery.

He chased the fell Scot all up through the land

And into history.

 

As Benandonner got to the causeway,

At Portadown was Finn.

He reached by his feet and pulled up a clod,

And threw it with a grin.

 

But his aim was off and it missed his mark

Landing in the ocean.

And that is how the Isle of Man was formed,

And Lough Neagh was fashioned.

 

Then just to be sure that they would be safe,

The causeway was destroyed,

Leaving only a bit at either end

By modern folks enjoyed.

 

On Staffa’s isle you’ll see Benandoon’s end

Lapped by the Irish sea.

But the Giant’s Causeway of Finn MacCool

Is famed for all to see.