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things i would say to you if i wasnt busy lying

i’m jealous of my heart, i wish i could hide behind bone and skin.

all i wanted as a young adult was cotton sheets until my friend told me about egyptian cotton sheets.

i base my purchasing history on the things i believe an invisible person, who judges my life, would be most pleased with.

i cannot check under my daughters bed for monsters because i am never entirely sure there will not be monsters under my daughters bed.

no matter how many drugs i took in my youth, if I brushed my teeth I would instantly feel more human again. I now brush my teeth three times a day but it no longer works.

i have been desperate for weeks to finish a poem with the lines ‘across the street, a gospel choir sings hallelujah’ but have yet to write anything worthy of that form of closure.

i wish i could tell you how scared i am.

i pretend to be a elitist loner but if social media didn’t exist i would have written ten times the amount of poetry as i have.

often you appear to me as different, inanimate objects;

  • you as toaster
  • you as gas mask
  • you as trench coat
  • you as leaf

 

i feel like soon i will need a youtube video to tell me how to breathe.

i cried for 45 minutes in the bath after reading a childrens book where a kitten died – the saddest part was that i was crying.

i frequently dream of taking amphetamines with james brown on an abandoned indoor ski slope in sheffield.

across the street, a gospel choir sing hallelujah.

◄ katteken

sour ►

Comments

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Stu Buck

Fri 20th May 2016 16:34

thanks graham. neither mrs s.b nor i got where we are today by telling the truth

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Graham Sherwood

Thu 19th May 2016 20:49

This is really a nicely balanced piece Stu.

The line.....
"I wish I could tell you how scared I am".......

screams off the page to me!

The list of inanimate objects reminded me of Reggie Perrin.

Good work Stu

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Stu Buck

Thu 19th May 2016 18:06

thanks both. i agree michelle, pure truth is impossible to attain. i spent the first half of my life trying to be the person i thought others would like most. its quite freeing when you stop and be yourself, although it brings its own problems!

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Michelle

Thu 19th May 2016 17:46

I think we like to believe we are truthful but no one I know could handle the truth without the 'modifications'! Liked this very much and the end line made me laugh!
M:)

Lynn Hamilton

Thu 19th May 2016 14:59

Stu

I lol'd at your last line. Very good.

Lynn x

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Stu Buck

Wed 18th May 2016 13:43

cheers david. i often feel poetry is the universal truth we all lack in our daily lives.

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