It must carry on the air,

A touch, a suggested embrace,

Gentle, not seen, but questioning

Testing, Yes I did but no I didn’t mean but I did?

That I question myself at all, first or last

She already matters to me

 

Then she held my hand in both of hers,

A gentle touch in the back of the car,

Unbuckled she turned towards me

And we kissed full on lips,

I sensed an intention and stiffened,

Felt my blood rush around my pelvis

As my stomach let go of that brick inside,

Whatever happens next, first or last

She already matters to me

 

A while later and, as we greeted

She gave me a walk away excuse,

But I stayed and listened,

Watched her nibble, feast and giggle,

And I drank her in with my whiff of doubt,

The taxi came too soon

But then the taste of her lips, the feel of her

Against me confirmed what was in the air,

Now I wait, first or last

She already matters to me

 

I struggle for a line that doesn’t expose me,

One that says what I can’t say but I think I want to,

I want to smell her hair, her breath, her blood, her guts

And imagine being greeted into that warm place

That wraps around all I have to give,

Inside my mind, between her tender life thighs,

Breathless inside all she is, first or last

She already matters to me