Donations are essential to keep Write Out Loud going    

SUPERMARKET SHOALS

all day long the supermarket shoal swelled

subsided

nosed their snouts into lucrative gaps

breathing through blow holes

glistening in their silky coats.

Oblivious of those who dominate them

they glide on their tides

anticipate, perpetrate

managing their own limits, spaces.

 

Of many colours

they seem to know and share community

and their place as,

seeing in the dark

fleeing, they part

peeling off from the bays of the supermarket.

 

At night they test other waters

buried in sleep and the subconscious.

 

◄ DEBRIS FIELD

CHECKER BERRY WAS HIS NAME ►

Comments

Profile image

raypool

Sat 20th Feb 2016 16:13

Cheers Stu. I conceived this as a description of cars and their parking, but then in going back on it I thought it equally applies to shoppers - then I thought Is there a difference ? One dependent on the other, a lack of creative thought , a certain sense of hopelessness and of being manipulated by the market etc. So this although it might sound pompous I regard as double edged! I think they should re-invigorate the word Hypermarket!

Ray

Profile image

Stu Buck

Fri 19th Feb 2016 20:59

the ceaseless tide of humanity indeed. there is lovely alliteration here, meaning rhyme is unnecessary which in turn gives the piece a more natural flow (almost like a tide).
i havent set foot in anything over an aldi for years now. you couldnt get me into a big asda or tesco even if they gave the food away.
we are lucky because in the nearest town (a mere 21 miles away) we have 2 aldis and the older one is permanently empty. we just glide round it once a fortnight.

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message