Queen of Sorrow

She twists and turns in the night

Searching for another blade

Seeking out a new way to dance

A cigarette to pass the time


Acid tongues spit twisted words

Nothing left to do but hurt

Wishing she could find the word

To make it go away


Morning comes, remorseful gait

Sugared suns peppered with hate

Black holes in the night to make

A pile of fractured memories


I don’t know why I do these things

To hurt you while I’m hurting me

But I can’t control the beast you see

He’s all I know of love.

◄ Tired.

Prostitute ►


Profile image

Rachael J. Low

Thu 28th Jan 2016 05:50

Thanks so much for your feedback everyone!

I'm new to this but am challenging myself to write a new poem every week

Looking forward to reading everyones work :)

Profile image

Martin Elder

Wed 27th Jan 2016 17:23

As Stu and Vicki have said there is some great imagery here Rachel. I also caught a hint of an almost Jerkyl and Hyde quality about this with
'I can't control the beast you see he's all I now and love'
Great poem.

Profile image

Stu Buck

Wed 27th Jan 2016 14:08

Hi Rachael
there is some wonderful images and lines in here
sugared suns peppered with hate
^^ wonderful
as vicki mentioned, acid tongues spit twisted words is also fab.
the last line is very clever and ties the whole thing up.
confession - i dont much like this kind of poetry (woman-man, heartbreak etc) but this is one i'd come back to.

Profile image

Vicki Ayers

Wed 27th Jan 2016 09:15

Acid tongues spit twisted words

I love that! It's an apt description of a tortured relationship - I like it - Vic x

If you wish to post a comment you must login.

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message