ON THE EDGE

I felt it could happen at any time

that I would know when

then on the cliff looking out to sea I knew it

the drop enough

enough of a drop

to deal the blow

on the undertow

and though

      the waves were flecked and bright

     the time had come

     for everlasting night.

  

suicide

◄ FINAL SCENE

MORTAL REMAINS ►

Comments

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raypool

Thu 3rd Dec 2015 12:10

you're bang on Colin with the title. I agree that it took over the whole purpose of the poem. It's nice to have that sort of genuine input.. Thanks
I hope the new title works! Ray

<Deleted User> (13762)

Thu 3rd Dec 2015 11:16

Ray, I like this but I think the title is too obvious and gives too much away. Hope you don't mind me saying?

I like also that it reminds me of so much - cliffs and suicide go hand in hand - it's difficult to disassociate the two - the lure of walking nearer the edge - the wondering what it would be like - the temptation of everlasting night.

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