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Anonymous

"Ok " she replied.

 

The kitchen clock recalled-

she checked her 'phone.

 

She moved the box and

sat on the bed-

gripping the belt

of her gown

she beaded it's material

through chapped and

nail bitten fingers.

 

Down stairs a door closed

and the toilet flushed.

She heard the sounds of the street

the front door shut with force.

 

She held her breath

and looked at the photo

that she now held.

 

An engine started

she looked again at the photo'

and let her breath go.

She knew now that she

was turning into her mother.

 

She looked up:

The laundry needed washing

the bathroom needed cleaning

the sheets needed changing

she sighed again

her life needed mending.

 

rewrite

words and foto Tommy

"sir?" ►

Comments

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 18th Nov 2015 21:57

Cheers Cynth

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Tommy Carroll

Wed 18th Nov 2015 19:48

Cheers Ray, well encapsulated.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 17th Nov 2015 20:40

Very well developed, with all the killing details unfolding the immediate present and the past few minutes, and the past - period. I like the connotations of external sound in the personal silence of the room. And I admire your insistence that the reader contribute to the 'play' by with-holding who is the person in the photo.

IMO, it's a very good poem.

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raypool

Tue 17th Nov 2015 13:19

I'm with Stu on this Tommy. No frills I like. A kind of kitchen sink 60s feel to it for me. Unfulfilled life and desperation all very precisely represented. Sad and compelling. Ray

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 17th Nov 2015 12:26

Cheers Stu. From where? to where? Indeed. Tommy

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Stu Buck

Tue 17th Nov 2015 12:20

i like this tommy. its a really well told snapshot and poses far more questions than it answers (a good thing in my book)

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