a recollection of her,
of my looking out
of a sunny window,
my face warmed
by its glass,
I blinked-
and unbeknown to me
she walked past
and through my
line of sight,
she had looked in
and was gone.
words and foto Tommy Carroll
(substantial rewrite)
This idea itself is completely captivating, Tommy, but it's the switch in tense, and voice, that I'm struggling with. Like - how can you make an observation if you don't know it happened? Do you follow my point, or am I way off base myself? What if, after you 'blinked'. you made the final 'episode' a question? A hope? A longing?
I have continued commenting only because I like the work so much. I really miss hobnobbing with poetry-minded friends over chips and coffee.
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Tommy Carroll
Mon 16th Nov 2015 19:48
Cynthia thanks for the response. I sometimes write in the first, second and third person in a piece when I wish to engage then disengage the reader. I am aware of this and its limitations and of the frustration that can ensue. The third person being unannounced. An example of a form would be "Tommy Carroll (himself)" simple but twisting. However I do have some but I would have to read again with greater attention ( I have just finished rereading (skimming) all 300 ( approximately) of my pieces...